Joey's Corner      


Joey Kool-Aid
How about some general riding tips for Ridin' Dirty?                   08-02-06

 OK...I'm not an expert, but these work for me. I've been really fortunate to have some great riding pals who are awesome mentors and teachers. I'm not an expert or a racer, I just like to learn how to get better, because the better I get the more fun I have. These are some core concepts that have really helped me.

  • Look where you want to go, not at the tree/rock/edge of the trail. Looking at that thing you do not want to hit is called "target acquisition". Trust me, you do not want to acquire any of those targets, and if you look at them, you will.
  • Look ahead, down the trail. Where you look, your wheels will follow. Your brain will register the things on the trail in a photographic fashion; no need to think about them.
  • Ride light: do not have a death grip on your handlebars. You should be able to wiggle your fingers. Your arms and shoulders should be relaxed. Do not lock your elbows or hunch your shoulders. If you can't ride without locking your arms or tension in your shoulders, have the fit of your bike, specifically the stem length checked professionally.
  • Momentum is your friend. Momentum can get you over small obstacles, up and over rises, and around corners better than going slow and braking for everything. Too little momentum will stop you when you could just roll or hop over something.
  • Maybe most important, make sure your bike is in good working order. Nothing spoils the fun of a good bike ride like an annoying creak, squeak, or clicking noise. Even worse than this is the obnoxious complaining that comes from the guy whose bike makes all these noises.
  • Make the most of your ride, and create fond memories. After all, when you turn 40, your memories may be all you'll have left of your bicycling hobby.
  • OH YEAH,    JOEY KOOL-AID

 
Bicycle Tire Quick-fix                                                                                                                          07-15-06

How to create a get-you-by ride by stuffing a few surprises inside.

Today, you'll learn how to create a get-you-by ride by stuffing a few unlikely items inside your.... (careful..) flat tire. While it might sound strange, you can create a makeshift inner tube from almost anything. Just pull one side of the tire away from the rim and start stuffing whatever is handy inside. You can fill a flat tire with leaves, grass, twigs -- even a twisted K.F.D. squad towel or a rolled-up T-shirt worn by a real fireman. Push the tire back onto the rim and head for home. It may not be the greatest ride ever, but at least you won't have to walk. I must confess that I did get this idea from a fellow Drivers Club Member who utilized this ........Thanks Norm.


 
                                                                                                                                06-21-06

                                  GET DOWN WITH YOUR BAD SELF


So you think you're hip, with it, in the know, and a real cool daddy-o. Well let's just find out. How many of these common biking terms did you really know before I told you so?!?!

age marks n. the holes in a rider's apparel that reveal the age of the garment and the longevity of the rider's participation in mountain biking.                                                                                                                                                                     air n. space between the tires and the ground. (Both tires must be off the ground or it isn't "air".) Said to be caught or gotten.  anchor n. your child, or children (anchors) that keep(s) you from riding. "Wait till you anchors grow up, you'll have road rash for breakfast and prunes for dinner!" To be used as an endearing, not demeaning, phrase.                                                       bacon n. scabs on a rider's knees, elbows, or other body parts.                                                                                             bolt-on n. a woman with breast implants. Derived from the term for after-market bicycle parts that are literally bolted on.        bonk v. to run out of energy or grow exhausted on a ride. "I bonked so early it was embarrassing."                                        bra n. the rubber strip placed inside the rim to protect the tube from the nipples.                                                                    brain bucket n. helmet.                                                                                                                                                       chainring tattoo n. the dotted-line scar you get from gouging your shin on the chainring.                                                        crotch-testing n. sudden impact between a male rider's private parts and something very hard and pointy, such as a handlebar stem or seat.                                                                                                                                                                          dialed in adj. when a bike is set up nicely and everything works just right.                                                                             endo n. the maneuver of flying unexpectedly over the handlebars, thus being forcibly ejected from the bike. Short for "end over end". "I hit that rock and went endo like nobody's business."                                                                                          face plant n. hitting the ground face first. "Joe hit a tree root and did a spectacular face plant."                                              gear masher n. someone who always rides in too high a gear, stomping on the pedals.                                                          granny gear n. the lowest gear available on a bike, which only a grandmother would need to use; designed for steep uphill climbing, but extremely easy to pedal in on flat ground.                                                                                                           gravity check n. a fall.                                                                                                                                                         hamburger n. the condition of skin, when geological contact was made with sharp rocks such as on a shale slope.      hammer v. to ride fast and hard. n. someone who hammers.                                                                                                IMBA n. International Mountain Biking Association (http://www.imba.com). An organization for trail advocacy.                     involuntary dismount n. a crash.                                                                                                                                        John boy'ed v. when a riders face gets covered with spots of mud, making him look like "John Boy" on the Waltons. "I hit that mudhole and got John boy'ed big time."                                                                                                                         LBS n. acronym for Local Bike Shop.                                                                                                                               monkey butt n. The red soreness that occurs to one's rear when venturing on long trail rides. This happens due to loose fitting shorts/pants while sweating profusely. "Dude , that was such an intense ride, but now I have a serious case of Monkey Butt!"  NORBA n. National Off-Road Bicycling Association. They organize most of the larger races.                                              organ donor n. someone who rides without a helmet.                                                                                                          prune v. to use one's bike or helmet to remove leaves and branches from the surrounding flora. Usually unintentional.            rookie mark n. chain grease on a rider's pant leg. "Give that guy extra points for his rookie mark. It's even on the wrong leg!" schwag n. free stuff. "Hey, they're handing out schwag over at the Rock Shox booth."                                                          taco v. to bend a wheel over on itself, in the shape of a taco. "I taco'd my wheel, and it cost me a hundred bucks."                 wild pigs n. poorly adjusted brake pads that squeal in use.                                                                                                     winky n. a reflector. "Nice winky set, dork"                                                                                                                           yard sale n. a horrendous crash that leaves all your various "wares" -- water bottles, pump, tool bag, etc. -- scattered as if on display for sale.                                                                                                                                                                      

So did you know????? I don't think so.....good thing I told you so.....

OH Yeah...........Joey Kool-Aid
Yes! It's true, a letter to Joeys Corner. I hope it gets to you.                  5-19-06

Today's topic,

Get off your butt! 

  I have been a victim of LBS  (lazy butt syndrome). I know, doctors say
that they haven't seen cases around the Midwest since last September.
Everyone thought all the hype over the winter would have knocked out all
the LBS, but it didn't. All the ads for exercise equipment and bike
sales should have wiped out some of the worse cases, but they are rearing
there ugly heads again.  
  There might be certain things going on in your life that may keep you
from getting motivated, a new job, a new baby in the family or projects
around the house that just need to Get Done. Step back for a minute and
take a look at the time you spend on yourself. You might find yourself
all wrapped up in what's right in front of your face, getting pulled
every direction to something for everyone else but yourself.
  I started riding with this group of highly motivated guys late in the
season last year because I realized that I needed to do something for
myself. Not only did it make me feel better physically, but it allowed me
time to relax and clear my head a little. Over the winter a lot of
things have changed around me, as I'm sure it has in a lot of lives, we
need to get focused and "Get Off Our Butts" to reclaim time for ourselves.
  Remember, the only person that can change the way you look and feel
is YOU! This is my advise to myself, I hope that everyone reading this
can use my advise in some way or another in there lives.

Joey            
                                                                                                                                                                              5-1-06

                                             What I Lack in Good Training, I Make up for with Good Intentions

 Week after week after week I keep saying that I will go riding today with the rest of the group. Then week after week after week I just keep staying in my nice warm cozy bed (with electric blanket). I have good intentions though. Kind of like this page of mine. Week after week after week I keep meaning to actually write an article for this page. Alas, week after week after week I never really do write anything. Once again, I have good intentions. Hopefully this training schedule of mine will carry me through the 28 mile race that I'm signed up for and paid for come this August. Also, I hope this page doesn't change from 'Joey's Corner' to 'Anybody But Joey's Corner' (although I haven't even been on the web site yet. I intend to though). We'll see. So far, my good intentions have been carrying me pretty far. I'd write more, but since I'm not really writing this, I don't know what I've been up to.

                                                          Oh Yeah....Joey Kool-Aid 

 

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