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On April 9th Josh Martin led his newly organized
Kenosha Drivers Club Too into battle against the much heralded
and undefeated Drivers Club #1 triathlon team. Although
the official outcome was an embarrassing defeat, Martin was able
to find a silver lining. "We may have been crushed, and I
have to admit it really wasn't even close, but I did thrash Hannes
and Wes (Djuplin) tied Strouf. We are green and growing.
We'll be back in June for the YMCA Triathlon."
As for the thrashing of Hannes
Team Trainer Dan Allemand was dubious as to whether his success
in a pool would translate well in open water. "We finally
found something Josh can do, heck I might even let him serve on
my beloved DC#1 someday. But the open water of Wolf Lake
could tell a different story. If, and this is a big if,
Josh is man enough to jump in that giant cesspool, his stunning
success at Parkside could could dwindle away to be what many in
the Triathlon world suspect, Martin is 'one timer'. It
will be interesting to see which Josh shows up, the Josh at
Hustle up the Hancock, or the Josh who surprised everyone at
Parkside."
The much maligned DC member has taken
everything in stride and has continued his intense training
schedule set forth by Allemand. "People don't know what
I've been through, living in the shadow of Chris Hannes.
It's now my time to shine. He's a has been. I did
everything I was supposed to do. I followed Dan's training
table to the letter while Hannes was resting on his laurels. My
hard work paid off and I won. Its like when Leon Spinks
got his shot at Tyson. After all this I still don't get
any respect. I used to admire Hannes, you know, look up to him.
Now I see him for what he really is, a pitiful old man with bad
hair."
After hearing his Allemand's comments on YMCA
Martin was defiant. "DC #1 is through. That's right,
I said it, I said and I meant it. Objective fans have seen
it coming, and the others are sticking their heads in the sand.
There has been a slow downward spiral in their performances.
Sure they all had PR's at Parkside but it won't be enough the
next time. Strouf was like a turnstile, just letting everyone go
by. Riley is a road bike specialist, Rumme is a
stationary bike specialist who tinkers with mountain bikes.
If you find me someone who really believes Rumme will have the
same degree of success on the road I have bridge in Racine to
sell to you. All the pieces are there. We will put
them together at YMCA. I just hope DC#1 doesn't embarrass
themselves running home to their mothers after we spank them in
front of all of those people. They will fall like the
Leaning Tower of Pizza. My only hope is that all of
you in the press show as much devotion to us as you have to
DC#1. I must now turn my back on you, as I will not
speak of this again until after the event.
{This is where he actually, physically,
turned his back to the reporters. What an amateur}
Hearing this DC#1 team leader Brian Rummelhart
laughed. "We finally found a way to shut him up. I
admire his tenacity if not his ignorance. 'Hear this Josh.
It's not the Leaning Tower of Pizza, its the Leaning Tower of
Pisa, and its still standing, it has been for over eight hundred
years, as will DC#1. Check your facts, take a reality pill
and get in the back of the rig', enough said."
Check back often for up to the week
developments. The latest Vegas Line has DC#1 going off at
8-5 and DC Too at 14-1.
JOSH MARTIN DEMONSTRATES HIS FLIP TURN TECHNIQUE
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